Monday, 2 May 2011

Monday Giggles

Welcome to another instalment of Monday Giggles. Hope you enjoy today's miscellany! :D

An elderly couple goes to Burger King and share their fries and burger. A trucker sitting next to them offers to pay for the old lady. "It's all right," says the old man husband. "We always share everything." On seeing that the old lady has not eaten anything anything, the trucker once again makes an offer. The old man once again assures the trucker to stay calm and resumes eating. Finally, the trucker asks the lady about why she is not eating. The old lady replies, " I am waiting for the teeth".
According to a news story, if global warming continues, in 20 years the only chance we'll have to see a polar bear is in a zoo. So in other words, nothing is going to change.
Moses was walking down the street when he bumped into George W. Bush. "Hello," Bush said. "Nice weather we're having, huh?" Moses took one look at the President, turned, and ran in the other direction. The next day Moses was walking down the same street and there was Bush. Again he tried to initiate a conversation. Again Moses turned and ran away. Bush was tired of this bizarre treatment, so the next time Moses ran away from him, Bush followed. When he caught up, he asked Moses what was wrong. Moses said, "The last time I talked to a bush I spent 40 years in the desert."
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they realized that ball pens didn't work due to zero-gravity. They developed a pen that writes in zero gravity by spending lots of money. Russians went for a pencil, instead.
A doctor says to his patient, "I've got a bad and worse news for you today.". The worried patient asks, "What is the bad news?" The reply comes, "You have one more day to live at the most.". The frightened patient then asks, "What could be worse than this news?" The doctor informs, "I have been trying to contact you since yesterday evening".



misteejay said...

Lovely cheerful start to the week.

Toni xx

Sandra said...

oh Winnie, how I giggled at these.

Hannah said...

Oh those are great :)
I've left you a blog award over at my blog. Please don't feel you have to blog it though, I know some people don't have time to. :)

Jo said...

Thanks for the laughs Winnie x

Carol Anne said...

Cute jokes! I have one for you:

A skeleton walked into a bar, went up to the bartender and ordered a beer and a mop.

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