Monday, 4 October 2010

Monday Giggles


From the mouths of babes.

Enjoy!!


Little Susie, a six-year-old, came home from school whining, "Mommy, I've got a stomach ache."

"That's because your stomach is empty," her mother replied. "You'd feel better if you had something in it." She gave Susie a snack and sure enough, Susie felt better right away.

That afternoon a family friend dropped by. While she was chatting with Susie's mom, she mentioned she'd had a bad headache all day long.

Susie perked up. "That's because it's empty," she said. "You'd feel better if you had something in it."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little boy was attending his first wedding.

After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"

"Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.

"How do you know that?"

"Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said, 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up."

"That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"

"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Sunday School teacher asked her little children, as they were on the way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"

One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered,

"Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent.

"The Flight to Egypt," was his reply.

Pointing at each figure, Ms. Terri said, "That must be Mary, Joseph, and Baby Jesus. But who's the fourth person?"

"Oh, that's Pontius - the pilot!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"

"No sir," little Johnny replies, I don't have to. My mom is a good cook."

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A college drama group presented a play in which one character would stand on a trap door and announce, "I descend into hell!"

A stagehand below would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would spring, and the actor would drop from view.

The play was well received. When the actor playing the part became ill, another actor who was quite overweight took his place. When the new actor announced, "I descend into hell!" the stagehand pulled the rope, and the actor began his plunge, but became hopelessly stuck. No amount of tugging on the rope could make him descend.

One student in the balcony jumped up and yelled: "Hallelujah! Hell is full!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little boy was in a relative's wedding.

As he was coming down the aisle, he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd. While facing the crowd, he would put his hands up like claws and roar.

So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR, all the way down the aisle.

As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by the time he reached the pulpit.

When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said, "I was being the Ring Bear."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, looking at the old pages as he turned them.

Then something fell out of the Bible. He picked it up and looked at it closely.

It was an old leaf from a tree that has been pressed in between the pages.

"Mama, look what I found," the boy called out.

"What have you got there, dear?" his mother asked.

With astonishment in the young boy's voice he answered, "It's Adam 's suit!".




*hugs*

5 comments:

misteejay said...

Happy Monday Winnie - great set of chuckles.

Toni :o)

Sandra said...

Giggles always welcome :) ... hope you're well xxx

Lisa said...

Great Jokes Winnie! lol

hope to see you soon

xxx

Dee . . . . . said...

Hi Winnie! Just jumping around in blog land this morning and boy did these make me laugh out loud :) Thanks for the giggles x

Allycat x said...

Thanks for the laughs!!!

x

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